How did the 90s, a whole decade of maudlin, overlong music videos-- a decade that included both Guns n' Roses' "Don't Cry" and Aerosmith's "Crazy"-- not prevent this from happening? Did young Justin Timberlake not feel the same embarrassment the rest of us did when tuning in after "The Simpsons" to watch the world premiere of Michael Jackson's "Black or White"? Isn't the end of that clip, in which Michael slapped his crotch and smashed car windows the exact moment in which long-form "dramatic" videos transitioned from "Thriller" cool to "Remember the Time" weird?

Apparently, Timberlake doesn't think so. In 2007, he aims to revive the storytelling, celebrity cameo video, and in this 9+ minute spot for the Timbaland-produced "What Goes Around... Comes Around", we the audience learn that what goes around is a poorly executed "mini" "film" in which Timberlake and Scarlett Johansson (the Macaulay to his Michael) mutter awkward come ons (Timberlake: "I happen to think I'm a lot of fun." Johansson: "What will you do to entertain me?") and make out a lot. And what comes around? If you cheat Justin Timberlake, you will die. That's right: It's old-fashioned, old-Testament come-uppance here. Ladies, you cheat, you're done.

Johansson's best acting in this ridiculous clip comes when she makes her "oh-no" face as her car careens out of control and flips over, along with the rest of the video. But after the accident, why does Timberlake wait so long to pick her battered, bruised frame up off the pavement (notice the light changes from night to sunrise)? Maybe he was waiting for Timbaland, like Slash, to rip a wicked keyboard solo over her body. Maybe he was waiting, like Axl Rose, to peace out through a mirror.