Pitchfork

File this one right up there with the former Lifetime bassist who hoarded body parts in her basement. Michael Kaminski, onetime guitarist and percussionist for defunct New York City noise-niks Cop Shoot Cop, was charged with aggravated robbery and carrying a concealed weapon after attempting to hold up a video store in Akron, Ohio (the city he now calls home) late last month, according to an Akron Beacon Journal report [via Cleveland Scene's C-Notes blog].

The concealed "weapon" in question? A Stetson cologne bottle shaped like a gun, the Beacon Journal report reveals, that Kaminski tried to make more convincing through the application of some black marker. Well done, son! Once Kaminski's ruse became apparent, an employee of a nearby store tackled the would-be thief, shattering the cologne bottle gun and dousing Kaminski in the alluring fragrance of justice.

"America's Stupidest Indie Rock Criminals", coming soon to a Fox network affiliate near you.