Pitchfork

News flash: Hugh Grant likes boys. His latest film is entitled About a Boy, and is based on a book by Nick Hornboy [sic]. I'm told that the flick is sort of like Adam Sandler's Big Daddy, but more "boy-focused." The soundtrack to the film, aptly named About a Boy, was written and recorded by Damon Gough, known to people other than his mom as Badly Drawn Boy. Clearly, lots of boys for Hugh to handle. What's a boy to do?

Suck it. That's what Badly Drawn Boy does with the soundtrack, anyway. I have no clue about the movie, although my friend told me it was "better than [he] thought it would be". This statement is obviously very ironic for two reasons; one, because it just is, and two, because the soundtrack is completely lifeless, and unlike the movie, way worse than anyone thought it would be.

Apart from some familiar melodic tendencies and Gough's distinctive voice, About a Boy sounds very little like The Hour of Bewilderbeast. His debut was a charming one, if not magical. Magic within magic, even, as we got mixdisc keepers like "Once Around the Block," alongside a smattering of quarter-song vignettes like "Fall in a River" and "This Song." Moreover, it displayed tons of promise; despite some questionable production, Gough's splendid folk-pop melodies were hard to ignore, even during those one-minute interludes. The folk part has largely disappeared, though, and in its place stands... something qualifiedly worse.

This is not to say that a talented artist isn't allowed to grow creatively. By all means, grow-- but grow well. Realize that preprogrammed 80s dance-pop beats and electronic anvils ("S.P.A.T.") are meant for the rarest occasions, and generally spell "barf." Realize the same about Doc Severinsen-style novelty orchestras, especially when you're determined to deliver a tune like Barry Manilow ("Above You Below Me"). And by all means, do not moan like an unsexed Bono ("Silent Sigh"). Tempting? Maybe. But not advisable even for Bono, let alone aspiring non-Bonos.

There is no mystery in this music, nothing worth listening to multiple times to understand or uncover. Every card Gough plays is painfully transparent from the first time you play the disc. It's elementary stuff. It sounds manufactured, refined, cosmetic and sterile; in a word, silicone, like a pair of Badly Sculpted Breast Implants.

Other than the album's anthem, "Something to Talk About" (not the Bonnie Raitt song, but almost), the music on this disc is "something to keep to yourself." Corny is probably a good word to describe a number of the songs. Bad is another, especially the lyrics, which were never Gough's strong suit to begin with. Apparently unaware of how unimpressive the lyrics are to "Walking Out of Stride" ("You and me could never hide/ Too busy walking out of stride/ Take one, two, three then four or five/ People talkin' keeps us aliiiiive"), Gough repeats them twice, evoking only the fondest memories of über-diva Gloria Estefan and her Miami Sound Machine ("One, two, three, four/ C'mon baby say you love me/ Five, six, seven times").

There are a couple points when Gough's facility with folk-pop songcraft manages to meld even these plastic parts together into something complete, as on the aforementioned "Something to Talk About," a clap-along number comparing favorably with Bewilderbeast's "Pissing in the Wind," another song with a great hook and horrible, horrible lyrics. It is by far the album's strongest track. "River-Sea-Ocean" is nice, too, a more polished, abbreviated analogue to Bewilderbeast's "Once Around the Block." Altogether, though, even a handful of mildly enjoyable songs can't rescue this boy.

If you're at all like me, you're dismissing the About a Boy Original Soundtrack as just that: a soundtrack. Probably not the artist's finest work, and probably not the most accurate representation of his artistic development or freedom. Do yourself a favor and dismiss this one preemptively; save your money for the movie.