Pitchfork

A long time ago, there was a woman who was also a pregnant woman. Not only was she a pregnant woman, she was a very pregnant woman. You see, the woman was about to have two children. Twins. And when I say "about to have," I mean "in two hours."

120 minutes later, she had those twins. They were small, but had lots of scattered hair capping their heads. They turned out to be identical, right down to their thumbs. The first was born seventy-two seconds before the second, so she named him Tiger (after Belle & Sebastian's first album, Tigermilk, naturally). The second she called Sinister (which is a scary name for a baby, but also happens to be taken from the name of Belle & Sebastian's sophomore release). The woman loved the twins very much and spent each night wondering what fate would bring her Tiger and Sinister.

As the twins grew, their individual personalities began to emerge. Sinister loved the spotlight and would often perform for his mum. He would parade around like a circus monkey. After sugary snacks, he could be found imitating the town constable. These theatrics would always make her smile. Tiger, on the other hand, was the quiet one who would keep himself busy detailing stories to himself about this or that, and deciding how things worked together.

When the twins reached the age they were at in this part of the story, Sinister became the talk of the town. He'd just finished an intricate performance downtown in a building. Some people admired his impersonation of the monkey. Others thought, "No, the town constable act was what stole the show." Here, indeed, was a performer unlike any other.

[A side note here: There was a third child which came one year after the twins, named Strap. It tried the monkey and constable bits for a while but was never as successful at them as Sinister.]

While Sinister was busy performing for large crowds in a building, Tiger was content to show just a handful of people his act, which was quite expansive and unique. The people who were lucky enough to hear Tiger's stories would proclaim to any who listened that while Sinister's bits were good fun, Tiger's stories were, debatably, even better. The word of mouth about Tiger's stories travelled fast in the town, and soon, many were clamoring to hear them. Still, Tiger would only do his stories for one or two people at a time.

Eventually, the clamoring became unbearable and Tiger published the stories so that everyone could hear them. An early recipient of the stories did a comparison of Tiger's and Sinister's bits, posting her thoughts on the doors to the building. It said:

"Tiger's stories are a little more varied than Sinister's performances. Tiger delves into a few more styles, straying away from the monkey and constable plots into an electronic story and even a few oldie rock 'n' roll stories. All in all, Tiger has turned out to be just as good as Sinister, with a few more tricks up his sleeve."

Mum agreed with what she read and started back for home, rubbing her left eye to remove what was either a particle of dust or the twinkle of a fourth child.