Pitchfork

It was bound to happen eventually. Shitty electronic collectives hyped by major labels as "the next big thing," I mean. Remember when it happened in 1993? The Seattle scene hit the big time and suddenly, hundreds of grunge-offs littered the airwaves. From out of nowhere, crap began flooding the FM dial like a burst sewage pipe. Well, friends, the Lo-Fidelity Allstars are the Candlebox of big beat. And don't let Spin tell you any different.

Now that the Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim and the Prodigy-- the worst of what electronica has to offer-- have wormed their way into the public eye, it's time for the generic stuff to start coming out of the woodwork. It's the perfect time for a big beat group to hit the mainstream. And what a plus that these guys are a collective. A la Wu-Tang, people!

I'll admit that one of my main concerns with these guys is that the term "allstars" is commonly used when referring to a group that's comprised of people who are all stars. Think about that for a second, and then check the liner notes to see if you've ever heard of any of these seven nobodies. Hmm... we've got the ridiculously British "Wrekked Train" on vocals, "The Albino Priest" on decks and samples, "A One Man Crowd Called Gentile" on bass, "The Slammer" on drums, "The Many Tentacles" engineers and handles the "keys," and "Sheriff Jon Stone" deals with the Herculean task that is "additional keys." Okay, and what's the deal with the horrid psuedonyms? I didn't know we were in A Six Man Town Called Self- Mockery.

Oh, the music? You don't even wanna know. But in case you're curious, it's amateurish big beat at its absolute worst. The opening cut, "Warming Up the Brain Farm," is a rap album- style "intro" in which your good friend the Wrekked Train marble- mouths his way through a self- indulgent sci-fi scenario in which he's the doctor of an experiment gone wrong. On the other hand, the album's first track of actual music, "Kool Roc Bass," is seven- and- a- half minutes of a standard big beat drum loop and ultra- reverbed British rapping.

Throughout the album's 11 tracks, most of the vocals are distorted-- probably intentionally-- so that you can't actually understand what the Wrekked Train is saying. Meanwhile, there's a phat, mind- numbing dance beat holding it all together, and the occasional tinny, old- school sample in the background.

Despite the fact that it was co-released with Skint Records-- the label that made Fatboy Slim a star-- How to Operate with a Blown Mind makes for one of the most contrived, sickening electronic releases in history, outdoing even Wendy Carlos' most recent offering, Tales of Heaven and Hell. As always, your best bet with electronica is to find a decent label (Astralwerks, Ninja Tune, Warp, Looking Good, etc.) and stick with it since it's obvious that the majors still don't know what they're doing.