Pitchfork

So, Australian duo the Presets came together because each dug how the other dressed. It musta been kinda like your favorite direct-to-Trio sitcom pilot: Keyboardist/yelper Julian Hamilton was the baggy-pants raver, while drummer/programmer Kim Moyes' grandpa-chic proved the Cardigans aren't just a band (what no laugh track?). Anyway, when they get together, dirrty electro-punk ensues. After all, the only trend trendier than apparel is pop music.

"Steamworks" opens the Presets' debut full-length, Beams, with nifty "Billie Jean" nods and hella somethin' Gwen Stefani pantwork, but keep your distressed denim on. The Presets are also in an avant-garde instrumental band called Props, but when your pop is as tuneless as "Are You the One"-- all hoovering bass and forgettable lyrics-- I'm not gonna be impressed just because it's also got handclaps.

A.R.E. we having fun yet? No? More lame sex puns and sub-sub-sub-LCD Soundsystem beats, then, starting with "Down Down Down", another shout-along future Gap ad that whips it good on the verses and slyly ends with "I wanna go down down down-- on you!" Doubling that entendre isn't doubling anybody's fun, especially since "Girl (You Chew My Mind Up)" puts the same bass line through a different distortion pedal, beneath different inane yelps.

It's not just pop songs, though, because while Moyes wore sweaters, our Jules wore Pumas. This is important, people. So instrumentals like dark plinky "Black Background" and sweaty squelchy "Worms" and tuba-topped "Hill Stuck" remind us that the guy we knew in college who loved to play with synths and tracker programs should've had a record deal. But then the closing, title track shows even more versatility by going organic: Former Silverchair (!!!) frontman Daniel Johns plays guitar while strings sigh and a mournful keyboard tinks exactly like Carter Burwell's score at the end of Being John Malkovich. Oh no, trapped forever-ever?!

Still, by far the most frustrating thing about Beams is that Moyes and Hamilton both know better. Geez, they even studied at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music. Until they dropped out to pursue a career in fashion.