Pitchfork

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but flattery can come off as insincere-- so what does it mean if you imitate yourself? Well, in Coldplay's case, it means a guaranteed reservation in singles charts all across the world. On "Speed of Sound", the Chris Martin Experience take the pretty ditzy melody and motion of one of their most popular songs (that'd be "Clocks") and do a little Vanilla Ice pressurizing. Then they top it with pretty ditzy talk about inventions and planets and things that go woosh in the universe, mirroring what was discussed in one of their other popular hits (i.e. "The Scientist"). Gussy it all up with the finest echo and chicanery one can pilfer from the Eno & Lillywhite catalogs, and voila! Four million served just like that.

Here's Apple's pop on the business of Coldplay's somewhat vague lyrical stylings: "Some things you have to believe/ Others are puzzles, puzzlin me." Riddle me this then-- how is Earth traveling at the speed of sound, while every other planet gets to zip through space at the speed of light? In case you're wondering, the Earth actually travels at approximately three times the speed of sound, while the other planets in our solar system travel at speeds nowhere near the speed of light. Also, if you can find another part of a mountain to climb other than "the side," then you might be a genius. If there are any lyric cops reading this, please make sure Mr. Martin's poetic license has been renewed. Or you can do what I do when I hear this song, and kindly tell that joykilling part of the brain to, um, take a chill pill.