Pitchfork

In what he assures fans is "not some fucking 'viral marketing' campaign thought up by someone at any label," LCD Soundsystem man-of-gumption James Murphy has announced to fans (via the DFA's message board; special thanks to reader Nichole Benavente for the tip) his intentions to disco-infiltrate the top of the U.S. Billboard charts on March 20.

That's right: Sound of Silver is going for the gold.

Murphy's been batting the idea around the DFA boards since early December, but with each subsequent posting (confirmed by his publicist) he's upped the zeal-- and the stakes. Back then he humbly sought top 40 placement, a couple weeks ago he set his sights on the top 10, and as of this January 18 posting, it's number one or bust for the DFA beat-connectors.

This is no mere pipe dream, mind you, and Murphy has the math to prove it. According to the LCD deacon, the soundtrack to the Beyoncé-boasting, Golden Globe-winning musical Dreamgirls moved 60064 units last week and held on to the number one Billboard spot (never mind that it did so with the lowest #1 sales in SoundScan history). LCD Soundsystem's self-titled debut, meanwhile, has sold an impressive 60559 copies since it hit shops in June 2005. 60559 is a hair more than 60064, so by that logic:

"straight up, if everyone who bought the first record bought s.o.s. the week it's released, then we're totally #1.

"i'm sure some people who bought the old record have now moved on to extreme noise or something, but maybe there are enough new people to make up for it!

"anyway, it's a dream, and i'll be able to move on to my other life as a mailman after that, because it would be all downhill from there for me."

Taking Sound of Silver to #1 has its perks. As Murphy mused elsewhere, "i don't want to 'get' people to buy the record (it always bugs me when i feel like a salesman) but if we could figure out a way to have the people who'd buy it anyway because they want it to do it ALL AT ONCE, then i could go to radio stations and say 'can you please play north american scum, because it's on a top 40 record' and see what they say.

"i mean, no 'modern rock' station in the US is going to play a song like that, but at least i want them to say to my face 'no--because it's retarded' rather than what i usually hear, which is 'duuuuude! i LOOOOOOVE your band, man! daft punk is losing it's edge is my FAVORITE SONG!! but i just can't, because my hands are tied here to only play hinder and evanescence' etc. etc."

So there you have it, people. No lollygagging! Save the world from the diabolical evil that is Hinder. Cop that disc the day it arrives (March 20! Capitol!), buy some more for your friends, grandparents, cats, turtles, Bingo buddies, and girlfriend, and help make James Murphy's postal dreams a reality.

...Which means that previously reported LCD Soundsystem tour of Europe could very well be their last. :-P

LCD Soundsystem is playing in my pants:

03-07 Birmingham, England - Academy
03-08 Leeds, England - Metropolitan University
03-09 Glasgow, Scotland - Barrowlands
03-10 Manchester, England - Academy
03-11 Norwich, England - UEA
03-13 Bristol, England - Academy
03-14 London, England - Astoria
03-15 London, England - Astoria
03-16 Brussels, Belgium - Ancienne Belgique
03-17 Amsterdam, Holland - Melkweg MAX
03-19 Cologne, Germany - Stollwerck
03-20 Berlin, Germany - Postbahnhof
03-21 Munich, Germany - Kleine Elserhalle
03-22 Milan, Italy - Rolling Stone
03-24 Toulouse, France - Salle de Tourefeuille
03-26 Barcelona, Spain - Razzamatazz
03-27 Paris, France - Bataclan
04-28 Indio, CA - Empire Polo Field (Coachella)