Pitchfork

Ever wonder why metal has yet to take over the charts? Me either. For all its populist strains-- metal can be all things to all people; party music, headfuck therapy music, protest music, even background music-- this is a genre which simply isn't "pop." And that's no judgment against metal (or pop), just one of its most important characteristics. I didn't grow up listening to this stuff. I didn't really even have a good idea of what it was until junior high. I thought Mötley Crüe and Twisted Sister were metal. In some stupid way, they were-- at least to fourth graders in Denton, Texas-- but it wasn't until puberty that I realized there was a whole other world of Metallica, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, King Diamond, Slayer and Napalm Death out there. And those were eye-opening experiences to say the least.

"What's wrong with these people?" I thought, referring to my friends who listened to that stuff. What the hell was going on for them that wasn't going on for me? The answer: nothing at all, merely a matter of aesthetics. Metal is better than music. It can be a surrogate for every job you don't get, every girl who ignores you-- or it can just be the noise you put on when you're bored. Even as a fledgling college music student, I could find stuff on Reign in Blood to show my teachers and say, "See, no matter what kind of stuff you tell me, I know there are guys doing it better, harder, faster." Because of its power, metal fans tend to be diehard, as would I be had I discovered the next best thing to getting high and getting laid. I won't claim to be a metal expert, but ever since that awakening, it's always been music close to my heart in one way or another.

No surprise, then, to see the last remaining Gen-X "icon" stick up for all that's right and hard in the world with Probot. Dave Grohl, possessing arguably the most successful post-Cultural Signpost career outside Wings and Bush, Jr., is hardly a hero of mine-- as Cheap Trick would-be's go, Foo Fighters lose out to Weezer by a long shot-- but I can't fault him for his principles. Rather than let his P2 battles with Jack Black suffice for keeping it real, he went out and made an album with a lot of the same metallic royalty who confused me so all those years ago. More than that, he made a decent record, one that might betray his lack of metal songwriting chops, but also his utter sincerity about playing this music for anyone within earshot.

The story goes that Grohl got ex-Zwan/Chavez guitarist Matt Sweeney to help him track down a bunch of legendary vocalists to perform on a record featuring songs he wrote in a metal mood. The pair laid the tracks down, but an all-star cast supplied the rants, featuring the likes of Motörhead's Lemmy, King Diamond, Lee Dorrian (onetime Napalm Death and current Cathedral vocalist), Max Cavalera (Sepultura), Cronos (Venom), Mike Dean (Corrosion of Conformity), Snake (Voivod), Wino (of underrated Saint Vitus, and Obsessed), Kurt Brecht (DRI), Eric Wagner (Trouble), and Tom Warrior (of legendary Swiss band Celtic Frost). Metal fans awaited the outcome of this CD with baited breath, and many were skeptical. However, Grohl and company made good on at least one aspect of Probot: They translated a love of metal into a valid creative statement. A lot of it jams to high hell, too.

The best idea Probot put forth on their self-titled debut (though I doubt we'll ever see another record by the "band") is the track sequencing; the four best songs are the first four. "Centuries of Sin" begins as Benedictine cathedral drone before exploding into D-tuned riff mayhem and Cronos' ragged description of a "survivor, warrior prince, psychopath making difference." Grohl drums with typically thrashy aggression, though I would argue he hasn't quite crossed over into the realm of great metal drumming yet. Still, Cronos completely sells this song, and I have no problems jamming it whenever the need for noise arises. Likewise, the incredible "Red War" and "Access Babylon", featuring Cavalera and Dean, respectively, fly by with the royal pound of the best hardcore-laced doom-metal. Cavalera's performance in particular should be given some kind of cameo-of-the-year award as it not only owns the song, but also almost single-handedly makes Grohl seem completely believable as a metal bandleader. Failing that, he gets points for his Motörhead-soundalike "Shake Your Blood" with Lemmy.

The most disappointing aspect of Probot is that many of the songs sound more like Foo Fighters turned to eleven than actual metal. "The Emerald Law" (with Wino) not only could have been Foo product, but a hard-edged Nirvana B-side. It's not a bad song, per se, just a tad less intense than what preceded it. Likewise, the near-anthemic "My Tortured Soul", featuring Wagner, sounds like the best possible result of Grohl's traditional hard rock songwriting meeting up with a vocalist who isn't afraid to sing sans doubling effects. It also sounds a hell of a lot like Soundgarden, which shouldn't be surprising since Kim Thayil shows up later to play a guitar solo. And speaking of that, the King Diamond-fronted "Sweet Dreams" is probably the least interesting track on the CD, not so much because it seems to go on forever without ever really mustering up much grandeur (or better, any good riffs), but that KD sounds like he's doing a bad Billy Corgan impression most of the time instead of his trademark hyena wail.

Probot will not go down in the annals of metal as a great band. As tributes go, the spirit is willing but the execution is a bit weak on about half the tracks. So even though you might approach this record with an open mind, something tells me the best tracks will be ripped for future mix fodder and the CD eventually left somewhere in the sell-back pile. Jack Black makes a hidden appearance at the end that should sum up everything you need to know about the band's "authenticity". But for once in metal, that really isn't the point. Probot gets by on unabashed hero-worship, raw enthusiasm and the lucky coincidence of having a few pretty damn fine tunes. And really, when you have the those, what else matters?